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No matter how much she drank, her thirst only seemed to grow.'Is this what it's like to be a man? Constantly horny and thirsty? That explains a lot...'Allison couldn't even begin to imagine what had happened to her. Not even after punching a hundred different variations of the phrases “sudden sex change”, “gender swap” and “female penis” into Google. She'd found a lot of pornographic cartoons and depraved role playing groups, but nothing that would help her unravel the mystery.Not knowing wasn't even the worst part. She was a reporter and this was a huge story that she couldn't write about. Oh sure, she could break the news, but what would she say? 'This just in! Woman awakens to find penis where vagina used to be!' And that would be it. There were no other details to include other than her impressive size. She could take a picture to prove it, but no newspaper would publish that.And even if she did, then what? There would be a million questions she had no answers to. Her name would. Reached over and patted Cyrus’s liver-spotted hand. “Then I met this pineapple of politeness.”Now Mabel may get tongue-tangled from time to time, but she taught me one valuable culinary lesson that night. She surprised me, and delighted Cyrus, by telling our waiter, “Bring us a bottle of vodka. Zyr if you have it.”They do. Mabel winked at me, “I went online, I knew they carried it. It wasn’t a pigment of my imagination. Russian, the best.”Cocktail glasses? Ice? No and no. “Three shot glasses, please.”Whoa! Will this turn into frat party? I checked our table, glad that the appetizers — little lamb chops and pan-fried crab cakes had arrived. Foundation, that’s what’s needed if we’re going to be doing vodka slammers.Mabel held her shot glass to her mouth, “Okay, Winter, listen to me. First, before anything, exhale. Then down the vodka. Don’t breathe in, just put a bite of lamb in your mouth. Then inhale.”I’m the host so I played along. Gamely.What! The flavor of that lamb was.
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